You’re giving me a headache!
It’s that time of the year again when with weather changes and various obligations make my head really, REALLY hurt. Below, in no particular order, are just a few of the things that trigger massive migraine attacks for me. And yes, I am being facetious on a few. OK, perhaps all of them. This will be a work in progress as new things give me a headache on almost a daily basis. As my oldest granddaughter delights in pointing out, I’m a “scruffy old coot” so that may explain a few of these. By putting these complaints in writing, I immediately begin to feel better! So, here goes…
- Any time a politician begins a sentence with “The reality of the matter is…”
- Any time a politician begins a sentence with “The truth of the matter is…”
- Any time a politician begins a sentence with “The facts of the matter are…”
- Instructions for medical equipment with statements such as the following (that are taken verbatim from a Finger Pulse Oximeter I just purchased for $129.99 from an American distributor. The product, as well as instruction sheet is imported) :
”Your finger do not tremble during the Oximeter is working.”
“After turn on the oximeter…”
“Please put or remove batteries in right order, or is likely to damage the device bracket.”
“Index 2 that made by xxxxxxx Company is a function tester.”
“Please go to a hospital timely for exact diagnosis.”
This is a medical device used to monitor potentially life-threatening conditions. Proper English in the instruction sheet would be a good idea! - E-mail spam.
- Telephone spam.
- ring…..ring….. Hello? “Honey, remember the street you told me to never, ever speed on as the police have a standing radar patrol there? Well, I was ONLY going…”
- Clamshell packaging that requires an engineering AND demolition degree to open.
- Advertised prices that, when you add the costs of the seventeen asterisks never, ever looks remotely like the big, huge “All this for only $…..”. Real life example: I credited 180,000 very hard earned frequent flyer miles for two Business Class seats to Europe. My two “free” tickets cost $565.80 in taxes, airline service fees and airport service fees. That is in addition to the $180,000 I had to charge on my Mastercard to get the miles. Am I complaining about two Business Class seats for only $565.80? No. I am complaining about two tickets advertised as FREE that were not free. Here’s another: Airline advertised price for a flight from Indianapolis to Chicago is $45.00. Not so!! When you begin clicking the purchase routine, taxes, “PFC” whatever that is and Security Fee(s) are added so the $45.00 magically becomes $55.40.
- Gas stations that sell fuel to the 9/10’s of a dollar.
- The idiot retailer that ran Christmas advertisements on the radio the day after Halloween. Yes, I said Halloween, not Thanksgiving.
- Speaking of the holidays, the whole “politically correct” movement. Everyone knows that if it’s political, it is impossible to be correct! Oxymoron, eh?
- Presidential & Congressional campaigns. They have degenerated into glamor photo-ops and an “I’ve got more money than you do” negative spitting contest.
- The taste of Go-LYTELY.
- Another oxymoron: Customer Service. Too many companies have “Customer Service” departments that apologize profusely (too profusely), then fail and fail again and fail yet again to deliver on whatever the promised remedy is. Or, the ever popular “blame the customer” approach.
- “Honey, I’ll only be in the Jewel (or Marsh or Meijer’s or Publix or Sainsbury or Tesco or Safeway or…) for just five minutes to get a gallon of milk. That’s my cue to get lunch, stop at the library and read the entire book of War & Peace, then fuel the car then visit my sick Aunt in hospital then have open heart surgery and finally a root canal. As I Pull back into the grocery store parking lot, I hear “See? I told you - only 5 minutes.”
To be continued…
December 25th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
I’m with you on this one Rich! All of them! Now, where did I put that Midrin?
Debbie